Thursday, December 6, 2012

Collective Thoughts on the Bitch-A##-Nigg@h

To my female readers and loyal followers, patient with me.  And to the many who also know me as a strong Christian being, please forgive me as well. But, the men who meet the criteria for being a bitch-a##-nigg@h, or BAN, need to be told about themselves.  The jig is up..  Women are fed with ya.   So guys, if you see a little of yourself in this literary piece then I would advise you to read it again and again...for there is much that you can learn.  With that being said, let's get to the business.

This work was requested of me by a good number of women.  In the past, I've placed the matter aside because I wanted to remain loyal  to my gender-kind; however, the issue simply would not disappear!  With the help of a contributor, who goes simply by the name Baby Doll, I was able to comprise of six different types of BANs, with hopes of bringing light to a matter which is desperately needs addressing.  So without further ado, here are the six different bitch-a##-nigg@h types.  Please take heed to this free information, and also feel free to point out one or two this men if necessary.

1.  The picture nigg@h:  Oof!!  You guys do not need smartphones; in fact, you don't even deserve to have computers. No, the picture nigg@h is not the guy who pressures women to send them pictures; that type is more representative of the triflin-nigg@h.  The picture nigg@h is that guy who constantly sends out pictures of himself.  Himself??  Yes..himself!  I mean, dude, women are tired of you.  Vanity does not suit you guys at all.  She does not need 47 pictures of you, homie.  I know that you thought that we wouldn't catch on to your sissy acts, but we did.  So stop sending so many freakin' pictures.  It's embarrassing to our gender!

2.  The QVC nigg@h:  No, this guy does not work for QVC; instead he's the jobless guy who watches way too much television while his lady is away at work.  He could have easily been called the ESPN-nigg@h or the CNN-nigg@ah, or even the soap opera-nigg@h.  But the QVC title makes him seem far more pathetic.  It's a much fitting title.  Cousin, stop it; and get a freakin' job!

3.  The "I raise my own kids" nigg@h:  Firstly, I love to see men step up and take care for their own kids.  It simply does-not-happen-enough.  There are too many women out there who do not receive assistance from their children's father.  But this type of guy? He's the one who repeatedly reminds his woman that he's a single dad in attempt to gain sympathy.  There's no reason why you have to put Junior or Princess on the phone to talk to a women whom you haven't known longer than two days.  Man-up, fam.  I mean, she was giving you credit for doing something different than most.  So, why ruin it by being an attention-seeking wuss?  Damn!

4.  The "top that" nigg@h:  My man...why do you have to compare your new sneakers to your girlfriend's sneakers?  And why do you have to show-off your new cellphone to your own wife?   We see that you have on a new Gucci belt; so is it really necessary to put it on display for the love of your life?  I mean, we know that you ran track in high school...but why challenge your girlfriend to a foot race down the block?  Get the picture??  Why not challenge Rob, or Mike, or Dave, or somebody?  They're grown men...although that too seems a bit child-like and petty.  But competing with a female?!  Geez!

5.  The fake killa nigg@h:  Okay, so you've been hating on the popular guy...uhmm, let's just call him Rasheed.  You've been telling everybody within hearing distance that if you ever ran into Rasheed, you were gonna punch him in his face.  I can hear you now, "Where Rasheed at?" or "I wish Rasheed was here right now!"  So, as soon as Rasheed show be like, "Heyyy Rasheed-buddy."  smh.  Damn you, fake-a## killa nigg@h.

6.  The crying nigg@h:  You didn''t just lose a family member..and you didn't just lose your job.  So, why all the damn crying? Whomever said that it was okay for a man to cry is truly a tender-heart, himself.  I mean, I guess its okay to express yourself..but do you really have to cry because you're lonely? Or scared?  Or confused?  You see, I use to give you guys a break... thinking that I was being a bit "old school" about the matter. But oh no!  Not now. Give a nigg@h and inch, and watch him cry a mile of tears. Women are telling me more and more about how they're rocking their crybaby-of-a-man to sleep at night.  Sigh.  Get yourself together uber-sensitive nigg@h!

Men, you gotta change your ways.  It's as simple as that.  I'm finding myself communicating with more and more women because it's becoming no different than communicating with you guys.  I'm tired of it...the women are tied of it...and you're the only ones who are content with it all.  Change your freakin' ways dude. The world does not revolve around your passive ego

Sadly, this list could have been longer; however, I wanted to shorten it somewhat because I know that guys hate to read.  But, if this does not apply to you, then please...pass it on to a BAN that you know.  And if this information is a bit pressing...well, I advise you to seek some serious help.  I know it's not totally your fault. You were probably spoiled as a child.  But, today?...Well, today is your awakening, my dear softy.  So go ahead and look at yourself in the mirror; and be angered with that bitch-a##-nigg@h who is scared to look you in the face.

Forgive me, Mom...I had to tell them.

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