Thursday, June 5, 2014

Kim and Kanye: The Perfect Celebrity Couple

It was an odd relationship from the start, so we thought; but Kim and Kanye managed to surprise us all. Hell, they've surpassed most people's expectations to the point of Holy Matrimony.  And who would have guessed that such a thing would've happened? Well, yours truly, Blaze Hemingway, of course.  And here's why I was so right about Kim and Kanye's marriage to the point that I am certain that it'll last for Hollywood-ever... which is basically an equivalence of five to eight years.

First, lets all agree that Kanye has some real freakin' issues, okay?  Now, let's also join and agree that Kim Kardashian has some real freakin' issues her damn self. And we're not just talking about normal everyday-person-type of issues; we're talking about issues which have not yet found itself in the office of any therapist of earth.  Still, we are able to see the two of them for who they really are based upon what we know of them publicly.

For instance, we know that Kim is a money-digging twit who has a thing for black men; and I love it. Meanwhile, Kanye is an egotistical momma's boy who desperately wants to be heard; that's great! Kanye is black and has money; Kim has very little to offer intellectually but seems to be a descent listener. So there you have it. It's a match made in heaven... well, I wouldn't say heaven, but it's a match nonetheless.  

Okay, so that was a very practical explanation, but you get the picture.  Certainly Kim can save the multi-talented Kanye from self-destructing by being the mother that he desperately wishes he had.  I mean, Kim is sort of motherly-like, right?  She got that big momma's booty that is normally obtained after giving birth to five or more kids.  She's got that whatever you do is okay because I'm your momma blank stare that let's you know that everything' is right with the world.  Geez.  I totally get the Kimye thing; and it's so co-dependably precious!

But still, if it fails after a month, don't jump off the bandwagon and respond with some "I knew it was gon' happen anyway" bullsh#t.  I mean, we're talking about drama-filled Kanye here.  Hell, they've probably broken-up and gotten back together at least three times in the past 16 hours.

Bless their little co-depended hearts.  

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