Kim Kardashian: Your Favorite Alpha Bitch

Sooo... what draws the world to super-celebrity, Kim Kardashian?  Well, I'm sure that more than one would say, "I don't give a damn 'bout no Kim Kardashian!"  However, in addition to your hoodish use of double negatives in your reply, you are also dead wrong in your denial of the truth.  You-are-indeed-interested.  Admit it, when Kim's name is heard there is immediate curiosity. You see, it takes effort to be disinterested in her gorgeously dark features, hippy frame; and perhaps most important, her gift of being incredibly ignorant to anything other than herself. Well... so I'm told.

Here's a little background.  She came onto the scene after we witnessed her lower pelvic area swallow-up Ray J's penis like it was a piece of licorice in that infamous sex tape.  There.. I said it.  And then there's all the other things about her that draws our attention. Born into money, and terrific at being simply "smart enough", Kim has maintained the ability to attract the public's eye. Still, she's a fragile soul.  She is overly consumed with what people think of her, mainly in regards to her looks.  She was insecure about her weight during the early stages of her pregnancy; and as a result, she covered herself.  The people then voiced strong opinions, so she gave them what they wanted by showing all her full impregnated body. She is so wrapped-up in her appearance that she felt compelled to give her audience that which they craved.  And what does Kim Kardashian crave?  More money. More attention.More of anything, and everything.

But she is more than just the stereotypical dumb rich beauty.  Kim K. is an alpha-bitch.  You see, whomever's at the top of their existence on earth, our Kim makes an obvious effort to obtain them.  She devours men and quickly leaves them as if the past was just a one night's dream.  Unfortunately for her new baby-daddy, Kanye; a pregnant Kim will certainly not change her habits.  She has engulfed Ray J., embarrassed Kris Humphries, scared away poor Dallas Cowboy receiver Miles Austin and personally enhanced a once superstar athlete name Reggie Bush.  Yeah... remember him?  Reggie?  Oh, and there have been others: T.J. Jackson, Nick Lachey, Nick Cannon, Marques Houston, and the list goes on and on and on and on...

So, what's the verdict on our Kim?  Well, I suppose one could say that she is the embodiment of femininity at its peak... or, one may admit to being caught up in the existence of a spoiled rich "she-god" who has simply grown disinterested with the petty lives of us mere mortals.  Or, uhmmm...well..... Let's just be truthful, she's an insecure greedy-ass rich chick with a big booty.  And that pretty much sums it up.

Nevertheless, I say, smooches to ya, boo.  Keep it coming; and don't change a single thing. If the people want sex appeal then give them nudity. If the people want you to marry ten millionaires then marry twenty. If the people want extreme ignorance then hell... just be yourself. Because frankly, dear; your people all await you... for uhmmmm, some ridiculous reason or another.

Ladies, It's Time to Rid That Stale Winter Lover

Yes ladies.  It's time to get rid of that excess body heat. And no, I'm not talking about that extra winter weight that has kept you denial; nor am I talking about that nine-year-old comforter that was pulled from the bowels of your closet.  I'm talking about that guy that continues to get on your nerves; yet, still sleeps at your place at least three nights out of the week.  Yeah, you know who I'm talking about.  The guy who saw you from afar as you entered the liquor store in search of that good Red.  He approached you with that silly line; and your first reaction was to simply ignore his ass.  But it was the day after Thanksgiving, and you thought it was best to entertain him because you couldn't stand the thought of spending Christmas and New Years alone.  Oh yeah, you remember now.  So...somewhat reluctantly, you gave up the number; and thus began your winter romance.  Oof!

Well, it's Springtime, ladies!  And in a couple of weeks it'll be time to show off those toes that have been hidden to all, with exception of the winter guy.  And it's been even harder to deal with his lameness when it's nearly eighty degrees outside.   No longer a need for winter body heat!  Oh no... much too warm to be all up under his extreme lameness. Time to find that new boo, girlfriend.  Someone much cuter than Lame Duck. Come on now, ladies, you feel me. You've been keeping an eye on a certain fellow while on your way to work.  He saw the real you on that warm day when you weren't wearing that scarf, hat, gloves and boots.  Goodness! (he was so use to seeing you in that shit!) So he looked, you looked back, he smiled, and you managed one of your on.  Oh yes...it's officially on, girl!

Well, don't be afraid to move onward, dear woman.  Your guilty feeling over Lame Duck's riddance will disappear soon enough.  He's a grown-ass man, you know.. he'll get over it.  And you?  You got this new boo all lined up for the warm months.  And if he's not the one, then certainly there'll be at least four or five others out there who have yet to see you in that near see-thru summer blouse.  It's due time, girl... due time.  Besides, you were only using ex-boo for body heat anyway.  Hell...mission accomplished.