Sunday, April 21, 2013

Kim Kardashian: Our Favorite Alpha Bitch

Sooo... what draws the world to super-celebrity, Kim Kardashian?  Well, I'm sure that more than one would say, "I don't give a damn 'bout no Kim Kardashian!"  However, in addition to your hoodish use of double negatives in your reply, you are also dead wrong in your denial of the truth.  You-are-indeed-interested.  Admit it, when Kim's name is heard there is immediate curiosity. You see, it takes effort to be disinterested in her gorgeously dark features, hippy frame; and perhaps most important, her gift of being incredibly ignorant to anything other than herself. Well... so I'm told.

Here's a little background.  She came onto the scene after we witnessed her lower pelvic area swallow-up Ray J's penis like it was a piece of licorice in that infamous sex tape.  There.. I said it.  And then there's all the other things about her that draws our attention. Born into money, and terrific at being simply "smart enough", Kim has maintained the ability to attract the public's eye. Still, she's a fragile soul.  She is overly consumed with what people think of her, mainly in regards to her looks.  She was insecure about her weight during the early stages of her pregnancy; and as a result, she covered herself.  The people then voiced strong opinions, so she gave them what they wanted by showing all her full impregnated body. She is so wrapped-up in her appearance that she felt compelled to give her audience that which they craved.  And what does Kim Kardashian crave?  More money. More attention.More of anything, and everything.

But she is more than just the stereotypical dumb rich beauty.  Kim K. is an alpha-bitch.  You see, whomever's at the top of their existence on earth, our Kim makes an obvious effort to obtain them.  She devours men and quickly leaves them as if the past was just a one night's dream.  Unfortunately for her new baby-daddy, Kanye; a pregnant Kim will certainly not change her habits.  She has engulfed Ray J., embarrassed Kris Humphries, scared away poor Dallas Cowboy receiver Miles Austin and personally enhanced a once superstar athlete name Reggie Bush.  Yeah... remember him?  Reggie?  Oh, and there have been others: T.J. Jackson, Nick Lachey, Nick Cannon, Marques Houston, and the list goes on and on and on and on...

So, what's the verdict on our Kim?  Well, I suppose one could say that she is the embodiment of femininity at its peak... or, one may admit to being caught up in the existence of a spoiled rich "she-god" who has simply grown disinterested with the petty lives of us mere mortals.  Or, uhmmm...well..... Let's just be truthful, she's an insecure greedy-ass rich chick with a big booty.  And that pretty much sums it up.

Nevertheless, I say, smooches to ya, boo.  Keep it coming; and don't change a single thing. If the people want sex appeal then give them nudity. If the people want you to marry ten millionaires then marry twenty. If the people want extreme ignorance then hell... just be yourself. Because frankly, dear; your people all await you... for uhmmmm, some ridiculous reason or another.