Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Truth About Beyonce & Jay Z's Fake Marriage

I am so sorry; I've offended you haven't I? Of course I did. It's Beyonce; and you all just love you some Beyonce. Hell, we all love us some Beyonce. She's one of the most talented women we've ever seen. And energetic?? Oh-my-God, that woman can perform like no other.  And her husband? Jay Z? Without a doubt, he's one of the best hip-hop entertainers of all times.  How he manages to stay relevant year after year, I truly do not know.  Never has there been a couple who have had so much influence in the world of entertainment. Never!

However.. I honestly can't believe that Bey and Jay have this so-called "perfect marriage." That's right, I said it. Now, don't misconstrue my words for those of a hater. Let the record show: Blaze Hemingway is no hater!  Hell, I hope Bey and Hov make money by the yacht-load for the rest of their lives if that's their true desire; AND I hope that baby Blu Ivy will one day attend Harvard, and maybe she'll even study abroad and eventually become one of the world's top scientist who discoverd a next-day pill that cures cancer. Yeah, that's right. The Carters are indeed that perfect. Well, that's what you think. They can absolutely do no wrong and you'll defend them to the end because somehow your spiritual being has aligned with theirs and you all have become one harmonious entity. Right?  Sure you do. 

Still, hundreds of thousands have gone on social media sites defending Beyonce and Jay Z as if they were the newly proclaimed King and Queen of the United States. It's as if you truly believe that everything about them is just...I don't know, perfect. Perfect?? Certainly, I give them credit for masterfully entertaining us; although that which we see through a prism of smokey TMZ camera lenses is perhaps the most awkward of any kind of relationship that I recall seeing. saw their performance at the recent Grammy Awards.  It looked no different than it normally does, an odd pairing.  Odd that Jay Z timidly touches his own wife on her bottom as if she's that scary chick, Lorde or somebody. (I do dig you Lorde!)  Bey and Hov do kiss in public, but it always looks like a strong horrifying peck. And their conversations? What do they talk about? How do they communicate with one other. I sometimes shiver at the thought of meeting Beyonce at Starbucks for a casual talk. Without a doubt, she's pure eye candy; but I don't see the two of us discussing memoirs of W.E.B. Dubois.

It's fake, I tall ya. It's all freakin' fake! Something either isn't right with this marriage or something isn't right with the two of them. Surely, Bey has some insecurities know, with that whole intelligence thing. (I love you Bey!) And of course, Jay isn't the most attractive man in the world (You're my dude, Hov!) So.., maybe the strength of their bond derives from the overcoming of their own issues, rather hidden or visible. And certainly, if it were a functional marriage then they could share they weaknesses with one another and as a result enable themselves to become whole. Through their wholeness comes their strength, and channeling through their strength is the constant flow of their talent. Therefore, that which you see as awkward could be nothing more than a speckle on a shiny surface, yet layered beneath is something so potent that it fuels the fire which eventually entertains us all. It's the Hov and Bey show; and we joyfully engulf every bit of it.

Sure, they're a little corny, but we like it.  They're human. We love that quality.  It's the reason why we marvel; and it explains why in the eyes of millions they can do no wrong. We love it! We have to have it! It's the most welcoming fusion of talent on the face of the earth.  It's Maudi Gras and the Super Bowl wrapped into one. It's the best of both worlds and there is not substitution.  They're all things and everything.  So certainly they're worth defending to the very end, right?  It's Bey and Jay!  Jay and Bey!  Hov and Queen Bey!  Oh-my-God, it's the best thing ever!!

But still gotta be fake-a## marriage, right?

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