Thursday, September 20, 2012

How Vince Young and Blaze Hemingway could blow $26 million dollars

Ex NFL star Vince Young, who was released by the Buffalo Bills in August, reports that he is currently out of money. Young was drafted into the NFL in 2006 and signed a six-year contract that had a maximum value of $57.79 million with $25.74 million being guaranteed. Young also received another $4 million with the Philadelphia Eagles and received additional money from the Buffalo Bills this year.

I know what you all are saying, "if he dumb enough to blow all that money then he deserve to lose it."   It's a cynical way of thinking, but perhaps you're right.  Still, I'm going to show you how a level-headed person, like myself, could do the same thing as our buddy, Vince Young.  Allow me, if you will, to paint you a picture.  If I were a major league baseball player who signed a 5 year contract for $26 million, here are some of my expenses:
  • $6.5 million or more will go to taxes - sad, but it's true
  • $6 million for my new home - sounds a little high; but believe me, it's necessary
  • $2.5 million in child support - I don't have any kids; however, I may have on or two baby-mommas being that I'm a baller now
  • $2 million will go to family - that covers everything from a new home for momma to "cousin Pookie just got locked up!"
  • $1.5 million on a condo in Los Angeles - hey...I mean, it's LA 
  • $520,000 goes to my agent - yep, 2% percent
  • $400,000 in vehicles - that's really not that bad if you think about it
  • $200,000 miscellaneous spending for one year - new furniture, premium gas, credit cards, etc
  • $104,000 spent in the club - hey, I've once spent $10,000 in the club on a $42,000 salary.  So a hundred grand is pretty cheap! 
  • $100,000 in clothes and jewelry - I mean, one Gucci bag cost a grand
  • $100 for my new girlfriend; oh, I'm sorry...I mean $100,000 on my new girlfriend
  • $60,000 in housekeeping and gardening for one year - I'm on the road...don't have time to do it
  • $25,000 for my lawyer's retainer - because hey, you never know
So far, that comes to $20,009.000 dollars, and that's only after one year!  I didn't include property taxes, nor did I add the utility bills for two homes.  Geez!  I didn't even include tithes to the church.  (sigh)  AND I wanted to buy that new boat too.  Oh, well...guess I'll call up Vince and see if he knows of a good realtor.  Or maybe we could go to Kmart...and see if they have any more of those $20 Stephen Marbury sneakers.   Dammit all!

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