Monday, February 8, 2016

5 Things Guys Need To Do Before Getting Married

As I am truly writing this piece for the guys, I do understand that women make up an enormous percentage of my readers; mainly because most guys don't read as much.  Well, its true.  Still, men are the ones who are targeted here; however I do want women to be heedful to these 5 suggestions as well before you start to set that special date.  We men are very peculiar people, and we don't expect women to truly understand us, and vice versa.  However, I will offer a quick view into our souls; and maybe then you can understand that there are a few things men must do before settling down.

Firstly, get Las Vegas/Magic City/or whatever it is that will always be the wildest night (or nights) of your lives out of your system. Some of us have had more than one of these; and oddly, we still believe that the annual trip with the fellas will be an ordinary way of life once we're married.  NEWS FLASH: it isn't!  Men, don't set yourself up to have to respond to the lies that you're going to tell her in the future because believe me, if you're going to indulge in these incredible nights without the misses, you're certainly going to have to remember details of those ginormous fibs FOREVER! 

Second (but perhaps most important), cut the cord with moms, dude.  Now I'm sure that she did a wonderful job raising you (bless her heart); but it's time to move on.  Just because she wants you to be the same "little man" you were when you were four-years-old doesn't mean it's not time to give moms the 'ole sit-down talk' like you did for the other chicks that you so desperately wanted to rid.  Hey, don't cry my brother, moms can keep texting you and all; but she has to recognize that you're now a man who desperately needs more space.  Believe me, just do it!

Third, splurge while you have the chance because as soon as you say "I do" that part of you life is gone forever! Want that two-seater with the chrome wheels?  Get it while you can.  Still lusting after that 70" TV?  Get it now because it definitely won't be coming in the house when you're married.  Of course, if you're a millionaire you can get whatever you want.  But until then, take advantage of the window you have.  Once she accepts your proposal, that window of possibilities narrows to the size of the mail slot in your front door.

Fourth, get your relationships right with your kids, bro!  Yeah, I hate your baby momma.   I'm sure most men say that at some time in their lives.  However, these are your kids...and they'll be your new wife's step-kids.  There's a huge difference.  The issues that you have with them don't compare to the issues that your new wife will have with your kids.  Yeah, your kids...the same ones who despise her for things she can't comprehend.  Lord knows the kids are already brainwashed by baby momma. (Shaking my head)  Poor new-misses; she doesn't stand a chance.

And lastly, make solid plans for the future prior to getting married.  Sure, everyone wants a nice home and lots of money, but those are not measurable goals right now.  Give new-misses a solid plan for the future, and not some trumped-up dream.  You're the anchor in this relationship. That fact was validated once she accepted your proposal. She's willing to follow you to the moon and beyond.  So don't keep running to your buddy's house to get hammered and work on that backyard rocket ship project. I mean, geez bro...She didn't take that whole "moon" thing that seriously.

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