Friday, March 1, 2013

The 5 Softest Guys in Sports and Entertainment

Here it is...the list of the softest men in the sports and entertainment industry.  These men were carefully selected due to their non-masculine body of work.  In other words, they were quite busy at being uber-soft. That's right, ladies and gentlemen...uber-soft.  We love them, we hate them, we are drawn to their supposedly awesome display of talents; and through it all, we've seen their intense level of softness.  So please, read up and acknowledge the most sensitive group of men who have ever laid claim at being something other than what they truly are...soft.
So here's the list:
1. Lil Wayne.  Geeze dude, you've topped the list.  You've kissed every guy in the music industry. And not only that, you've done the most bitchified thing that any man could ever've told other people's business for no reason other than out of sheer hate.  And that is softness at its peak, dude.  I mean, who gets so emotional that you tell the world that you slept with another man's wife?  But come to think of it, I know who does that... Bitch-ass men!  Without a doubt, you top the list.

2.  Terrell Owens.  I got love for ya, T.O., but there are two many people out there who are trying to convince me that you're gay.  I still dont believe that...completely.  But dude, you cry every freakin' five minutes.  What's up wit' ya, homie?  And another come you're not settled yet?  I thought every pro athlete in America was wifed-up and willing to give up half of their hard-earned millions?   Oh, and I also heard that you were mirror-happy.  News flash for ya, T.O:  you're not really that attractive.

3.  Chris Bosh.  I'm sorry Chris.  I really feel bad that you got caught-up in that whole Lil Wayne thing.  It was a wicked sequence of events, ya know.  His soft-ass gets kick out of a Miami Heat game because he's hating on you, Labron and Wade.  He then tells everyone that he smashed your wife after she cons him out of 10,000 dollars.  Now you're the one who's going back to wifey saying, "what's goin' on wit' this Lil Wayne sh#t, baby?"  Well hey, what can I say...she knows her softies.  I mean, she did buy you a luxury car for your birthday with your own damn money.  Geeze!  Where they do that at?  Oh.. and what's up with damn Christmas pic?  Oof!

4.  Deitrick Haddon.  Well, some of you don't know who he is, so let me give up some background info.  Deitrick is a superstar gospel artist who is gifted with true talent.  Deitrick cheated on his wife and ended up with a baby by another woman.  Stuff like that happens..unfortunately.  God forgives.  However, when Deitrick found out that his wifey was having an affair with another gospel recording artist, ole Deitrick puts it on front street for everybody to know.  And that street was called Facebook Avenue.  Facebook, dude?!  You put everybody's business on freakin' Facebook?!  Geeze!! Who does that?  Oh, I know who.. One of the top five softest men in the industry, that's who. 

5. And finally, the last of the softest men in the sports and entertainment industry...Frank Ocean.  And why did he round out the top five list?  Well, because he's soft-as-hell.  However, I did consider moving him out of the top five when he got into that ridiculous altercation with Chris Brown.  And afterwards, Chris says, "but he hit me first tho!".  Geeze!  Really Chris?  (deep sigh)  Well,  I got my eye on ya, Breezy.  Keep up the bitchiness, dude...because I got a really good feeling you're gonna make next year's list.

Sorry, S.O.S.  I had to do it to 'em.


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